There are multiple forms of Disassociation, we all do it from time to time. Daydreaming is one of the most mild and  common examples of "Disassociation". However, when you are struggling with CPTSD this can be far more severe. 

On January 01, 2024 I experienced the ultimate form of Disassociation, literally being able to recall what felt like an out of body experience. 

My Psychiatrist, naturally concerned, also informed me that this is often how the onset of DID (Dissassociative Identity Disorder) is born. 

Most people know this as "Multiple Personalities". 

In theory, what basically happens is your emotional health within your brain fractures- and your emotions develop their own persona. Typically each 'personality' born will represent a fractured processing of an emotion. 

Thankfully, I was incredibly lucky as when this happened to me? It was the breaking point  which allowed me to be able to heal and I have never experienced another episode. 

Not everyone is so fortunate and it can take years and often is unsuccessful when attempting to reintegrate the fractured emotional state of mind. 

Many people report a loss of their belief system while struggling with PTSD. For me? It was truly about feeling like all my bad choices and my inability to have emotional regulation made me 'unworthy' of God's Love. 

No matter what it is you believe however - maybe it's even a belief just in yourself, maybe it's a belief in a higher power, maybe it's a belief in your morales, and your values. 

All these things are capable of dissapearing while you are struggling with PTSD Complex.

#AndromedaSiren #Gulfcoasthealing 

I should have listened to the ACTIONS.

I once knew someone who when they spoke would mesmerize me by their words to a point I felt nearly speechless and all I could think, and what I said was, "I do love when you say words." 

Then, slowly the words came less and less. Communication lost priority, and in the midst of falling away from one another; feelings were hurt, misunderstandings ensued, miscommunications took place, assumptions that I happen to know on at least one side - and possibly both at times? Were wildly inaccurate had been made, and damage was done. 

Within months the person that once mesmerized me with his words, shattered me, intentionally. With precision and aim - each targeting my heart and crushing my soul. I couldn't even believe the side of the person I was seeing. It was as if everything he knew about me had been stored within his own head, heart and soul with the only purpose being, in case he wanted to hurt me. 

Carefully chosen attacks, on who I was as a person, my struggles in life, the things I prided myself in having grown, changed and overcome. Each word a dagger. 

My mom was wrong, sticks and stones may break your bones - but words can scar for lifetime.

Choose yours carefully.
#AvoidantBehavior #Narcissism #Trauma #EmotionalAbuse #HealingJourney 

The hardest thing for me in life? Breaking #codependency and understanding my own issues while learning that how others behave? Is simply not in our control. How others make us FEEL? Also not in our control. 

What IS IN OUR CONTROL? Our OWN ACTIONS.  

Many times, we fear being alone, we fear change, wer fear the unknown and we do so in a signifigant enough nature that it holds us back from experiencing things that may even be truly better for our PERSONAL SELF. 

You don't own anyone explanations, ONLY YOU what the things in this world are worth to YOU. Don't sacrifice your #selfworth❤️ Not for Anybody. 

#traumahealing #mentalhealthaware #gulfcoasthealing #andromedasiren